I’m not a writer. In fact, I can’t write. So pardon me to interrupt your dashboard. This is gonna be a long post.
So this is what it feels like to be in love. It’s nearly a year and a half, but still feeling the same way like the first time. It’s nothing like I’ve ever felt before. The best feeling ever. To have someone with you, probably forever. That’s what we said.
Forever might be hard to imagine. I mean, lovers nowadays easily declaring “forever”. Maybe we are one of them. In my defense, we’re already thinking all of the pros and cons, and what we’re going to do until that forever.
I’m 20 and he’s 26. I think it’s a pretty reasonable and ideal gap of age. Before I met him, I had no idea what to do in the future. I had no dreams. Actually, I did. It’s just that I’m not sure of it, of what i want. What I know is, I still got 2 years to finish my bachelor’s degree and then another 2 years in grad school. After that, life can take me anywhere. It’s not like I’m lost or something. I just don’t have any specific goals and dreams to pursue.
And then I met him. I’m not gonna say that my life has completely changed, but it did change. I’m not comfortable to say that I met the man of my dreams, but he is him. The man of my dreams is not a prince riding a white horse that kind of thing. But the man that I need. He’s the one who knows how face a girl like me. He’s the one who’s responsible of everything he does. He’s the one who works hard. He’s the one who brings out the best of me. He’s the one who guides me. And he is all of them.
It is normal at his age to want something serious. He didn’t expect me to. C’mon, at my age, my friends barely thinking about serious relationships. It’s all about chasing their dreams. While I don’t have any. I said to myself, I can’t let him go. He is probably the best I’ll ever have. I know I want to be serious with him. So we promised to ourselves that we will survive the next 5 years until “forever”. Our parents know about our plan and they seem to have no problem about it.
More than a year have passed. That feeling of wanting us to be together forever has been haunting me. And I like it.
Then I realized, he’s becoming my dream.
I think it’s marriage season. It seems like everybody’s getting married. And it makes me want it more than ever. I can’t wait any longer. Well, he is ready. We can get married right away. He told me that. But then he reminded me that I still got school and stuff ahead, so we have to wait. I know that. Everyday, I’m drowning in my dreams. Oh please time goes faster. But I’m afraid that I would lose my youth time. I don’t want to regret it. But I want him. So bad. Marriage is harsh. It is not going to be what I’m thinking. It’s not easy.
I guess I’ll have to wait for another 4 years. We know what we want. But we don’t what is going to happen in the future. Whether we end up with each other, or with someone else. And then I might regret or laugh or touched reading this post again.
Told ya it’s a long post